Mark 10:10-12 - Adultery and Divorce - Part 2

10:10-12 continued

There is then the most difficult of questions. Should the church allow remarriage of divorcees? First of all, we need to accept that there is not a nice neat, clean and fair solution. Sin complicates things beyond measure. Whatever we do there will be times when a church marries a couple who should not be married, and there will be times when a church refuses to marry a couple who should get married. A key factor is that the primary responsibility lies with the couple. The church can, and should, give guidance, but ultimate responsibility lies with the couple in choosing to get married.

Well what if one or both members of a couple are divorcee, is marriage allowed? I would say that the general principle is that if there is true repentance, or the divorcee was not the guilty party, then remarriage is allowed, but this is highly problematic. The primary difficulty is that only God can judge the hearts of men and women accurately. We could restrict remarriage to the case where adultery or abuse did occur. In those cases there is clear evidence that the divorcee was the victim of divorce. That is the advantage of such a policy. The disadvantage is that, especially in the age we live in, if the church is being effective, many people will come in to the church from all sorts of sexual backgrounds. So what do we do? You could end up refusing remarriage to someone, but then allowing someone else who has been sleeping around with all and sundry to get married. Refusing to marry anyone with any sexual history is unworkable, and probably against the gospel. On the other hand, any allowing of divorce can threaten the sanctity of marriage. I am going to bring this discussion to a close now. The situation is horrendously complicated (that’s the fruit of sin), so we are not going to find an easy answer. The key is God’s heart and purpose in creating marriage. And we are dealing with people, and with a gospel that does have the power to bring true repentance and changes of heart. But the heart is deceitful above all things, and some people will deceive themselves and others. If we search for a legalistic solution we will not find one, and any one that we do adopt may “solve” some problems, but will also cause harm in other cases.