Ephesians 5:28,29 - He who loves his wife loves himself

5:28

Perhaps the predominant attitude in society was to see a wife as someone to be made use of, to take advantage of. Indeed, this attitude is found in most societies, even in our own. For instance, if you look at your partner as someone to fulfil your needs then this is having a wrong attitude, and is one of the reasons why relationships break down so easily. Instead we are to love our wives as Christ loves the church, making her flourishing our primary goal, not our own fulfilment. In doing this we are actually loving ourselves as well. Jesus said that if we lose our lives for His sake, we will find them. Self-centredness in all its various guises actually results in our becoming less of a person. When we live for Christ and for others we become more of a person.

5:29

Our natural inclination is that my needs are the top priority. “Look after No 1, for no one else will” is a common phrase, but it is actually false. If we do not look after our wives properly we actually do harm to ourselves as well. So there is a very practical everyday outworking of this teaching, but Paul now turns the focus back onto the relationship between Christ and the church.